Cousins

There’s something especially awesome about the cousin relationship. Somewhere in between sibling and friend, It’s beauty is in both it’s significance and it’s ambiguity. It can imply a straightforward familial connection, as is the case with first cousins, or it can also get more vague and harder to quantify once the various delineators (second, third, once removed, “cousin’s cousin,” cousin through marriage, etc) get thrown around. And if you’re like my wife and I, certain non-blood-related friends of ours get the honorary “auntie” and “uncle” status, leaving their kids to be our son’s technically unrelated, but unquestionably bonded cousins. They say you can’t pick your family, and this is true of cousins, but it’s okay to have some favorites, or feel close to them even when the actual relationship may not be the closest according to the family tree.

Growing up, I never lived close enough to any of my cousins to see them on a daily basis or be in the same school or activities with them. Our opportunities to interact were left to holiday get-togethers and family occasions, so when we had the chance we went all in. Age difference sometimes affected the nature of how things went down (my paternal cousins are all older than me, while my maternal cousins are all within four years), but through sports and games, or less structured fun and shenanigans, I always loved being able to see my cousins.

One of my favorite parts of being a parent is to see my son in these same cousin situations. It takes me back to when I was a kid. Like me, he has some who are significantly older, and others who are very close to him in age. Whether he’s playing age-appropriately with his similarly aged cousins, or engaging his older ones to bring the play down to a level that can include him, he has fun, just like I did with mine. And even at age three, I can tell that he understands that his cousins are special.

Helping others.

 

“I don’t know him that well.”

“I don’t have extra money right now.”

“I’m sure that others will help.”

Those three things are all true.  I have never met Oren Miller.  I’m aware of him via his blog, and the fact that he started an online group for us dad bloggers to connect to share ideas about both fatherhood and blogging.   I’m sure we’ve participated in some of the same discussions that have arisen over the years, but I can’t recall more than one time in which I wrote a message directly to Oren.

The part about the money is true as well.  While we are not even close to poverty, we tend to live paycheck to paycheck, and this month we got smacked with the need for repairs to both of our cars.  Still, when the next payday after I heard the news arrived, I consulted with my wife and we gave.

My assumption that others would help was true in this case but often not true in others.  When news that Oren was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer hit our group, the response was overwhelming.  I’m sure Oren got hundreds of cards in less than a week, and when Brent of DesignerDaddy started a GiveForward fundraiser to help raise money for Oren’s family, people stepped up.   While it was true in this case that others have helped, making that assumption in general is often what causes folks not to get help.  Called “Bystander Apathy,”  when everyone makes the assumption that someone else will help, the less likely it is that someone will actually step up and do so.

Bystander apathy is probably one of the reasons why gaining up the courage to ask for help can feel so difficult to do.  We all want to feel self sufficient, and it’s hard enough to gain the trust in others needed to disclose that you have a need without feeling shame.  Then when you add into the equation that with asking likely will come rejection, it’s no wonder that most folks will shy away from asking.

So how do we overcome this?  I’m no expert, but I think the insurance commercial which shows that helping others can be contagious is on to something.  Obviously we can’t do everything for everyone, but if more of us took opportunities to help out where and when we can, we would all be better off.  This will also show our kids the benefits and importance of helping and giving, and hopefully work toward reducing the stigma involved with making the decision to ask in future generations.

Note: While what I wrote above about others stepping forward to help Oren and his family is true, this is a long and hard fight and they have only just begun.  If you would like to read more and consider giving to Oren, please do so here. Sharing this and other posts about Oren is also a free and easy way to help. Thanks.

Loving the Library

Note: This post is written in conjunction with the #DadsRead campaign.  Learn more about it here.

About two years ago, the Montessori we send my son to called us early on a Monday morning.  Over the weekend there was a plumbing failure, and for the whole weekend water had been collecting on the floor.  It was a nightmare for the owner, who had to close the school for a week and a half and to get everything dried out and cleaned up, and for licensing to be satisfied there was not a mold issue.

It was also a burden for us parents, who all of a sudden didn’t have a place to take our kids.  My wife and I both work full time, so we had to split taking time off from work to be home with our son while the school was closed.  For a few days, I became a stay at home dad, and quickly had to figure out what to do all day.  Through some online searches, I learned about all of the benefits of my city’s public library system.   We love books, and my son’s bedtime routine includes us reading three books to him each night, so we are not strangers to reading.  What I was a stranger to was all of the awesome programming the libraries do during the day for kids.  I’m sure this is old news to stay at home parents who might be mentally writing me a late pass right now, but I had never sought this out before.  I found that each branch runs several story time activities each day, with different sessions targeted for different age groups.  At that point my son was not even two, and for that age group the sessions consisted of reading some short stories and mixing in some singing and movement to nursery rhymes.  Then at the end they bring out a bubble machine, just because toddlers love bubbles.

Bubbles stuck in my son’s hair during the end-of-storytime bubble machine madness.

During that time, we went to almost every branch in the city to participate in what each of them offered.  Each branch’s story time was a little different, but all within the same theme, and all with the beloved bubbles at the end.  For older kids, the libraries had even more to offer, including puppet shows and programming related to animals and science. And it was all free.

Being full time working parents, we try to make the absolute most of our weekends and do lots of different things.  We don’t use the library programming in the same way as we did during those days off, as most of their programming is during the week.  We take my son occasionally to check out some new books, and we still keep our eyes open to what they offer from time to time. When we saw that one of the branches was having a party based upon Mo Willems’ Pigeon Character, we were there.

Fast forward to two nights ago, and the evidence that the library experience has stuck with my son.  I mentioned that I needed to return the book Spork, which I had borrowed to read to my son and also to review it for my post on culturally themed books.  When I mentioned that I had to return it sometime this week, my son’s face lit up and he asked if he could come with me when I went.   I have some extra time off from work this week, so I picked him up early from school yesterday and we went.

Yesterday at the library, kicking back and reading some books.

 

Unfortunately with budget cuts, some cities’ libraries are being threatened with reduced hours and services, and even closure.  I was proud of my friend and then-Boston City Councillor Felix G. Arroyo when he stood up to threatened library closures in my former city.  It’s up to all of us to show our cities and towns that our libraries have our support, and if you haven’t checked out all that yours has to offer, go for it!  If you’re a dad, check it out during the #DadsRead campaign and let me know what you find.

I Think I’ve Created A Monster…

“Do you want to watch the Longhorns play baseball?”

The question took him by surprise, and made him pause to process the revelation that, in addition to football and basketball, his beloved Longhorns also play his favorite sport (at the moment), baseball. Once it all computed in his little three and a half year old brain, the excitement displayed itself on his little face and his answer was an emphatic “Yes!” It was a typical weekend late afternoon in our house a few weeks ago, maybe 5:30-6pm-ish. My son had yet again refused to nap, and so we were just entering Crankytime, the overtired zone he gets into on days when he doesn’t nap, and everything becomes a whine, a cry, and/or a tantrum. My goal was to try to buy a half hour so that we could respond to the “I’m hungry” whines by getting dinner ready. And the random Texas vs. TCU baseball game I found on TV did exactly that.

Longtime readers of the blog know I love sports and actively share them with my son. We love it all…the Boston teams of pro sports, college football and basketball (and apparently now baseball too), soccer, tennis, golf, the Olympics, and all else.  We play it all too, both indoors and out.  Every Friday during basketball season when I’d pick him up from school, his first question would be if we could go see the Panthers (the local high school team) play that night, something we did five times this past season. Upon waking up in the morning, a typical question of his is if the Red Sox won the night before.  He used to get excited about wearing his Dusty Crophopper t-shirt, but now it sits in the closet while he requests to wear his Tom Brady jersey or one of his Red Sox shirts.  I love that my son loves sports, but am wondering if I created a monster.

Part of it is my own stuff.  I don’t have many hobbies or interests outside of sports to pass on to him. Back in Boston I was an avid fan of the hip hop scene there, and that was my balance to sports. I still love the music, but I moved far away and can no longer be out at a show that ends at 2am and still be able to get to work and be functional at 9am. The part of my life in which I was a regularly active participant has ended.

I don’t have the same interests that some other guys do. I lost interest in video games somewhere during the transition from the Sega Genesis to the first Sony Playstation, whose controller had too many buttons for me to try to master. Even as a kid, I was never into DC or Marvel comics. I played with Legos as a kid, but don’t understand why they’re now in video games and movies. I only know of the existence of shows such as Breaking Bad, Walking Dead, Game of Thrones, etc, because they trend on twitter while I’m on there trying to get reactions to the game I’m watching, while also wondering why so many guys I know are live-tweeting about those rather than watching the game that I am.  And, at the risk of getting my dad blogger card removed by some of the other guys, I could care less about Star Wars, Star Trek, or anything else intergalactic.

So perhaps it’s only logical that as my son grows out of the “big things that GO!” phase, he gravitates toward sports as a follow to my lead. He does love music, and we have and will continue to cultivate that. I am sure he will get exposed to some of the other stuff by friends, some of whom are already Spider Man fanatics at age three.  If he decides he doesn’t like sports anymore, or only to a lesser degree, he will have my support. But yeah, as of right now, I’ve created a monster and I’m okay with that. He’s not a big scary destructive monster, but rather a fun loving sports fanatic monster.  Kind of like the Green one in Boston, who also wants to wear his Red Sox stuff every day.

 

Culturally-Themed Children’s Books: Three Short Reviews

Note: This is not a sponsored post.  I have no business interest in any the books about to be discussed and received nothing for discussing them.  I don’t know anyone involved with them personally.  I wish I knew Sharon Robinson, but I don’t think that counts as an official disclosure.  

 

A recent post on a fellow fatherhood blog got me thinking about some of the various books I’ve read to RJ that involve culture in one way or another, and thusly the idea for this review post was born.  We read him three books every night, and obviously not all of them deal directly with culture.  That being said, I feel like we’d be doing a disservice to him if we didn’t try to address culture with him, so we are always looking for good books to aid in this process.   Here are some mini-reviews of three books we’ve enjoyed so far.

First up is The Colors of Us by Karen Katz.  This is a very popular book in the genre, and it does well at honoring the fact that none of us are actually “white” or “black,” but rather various shades of brown, as a young girl learns from her mother as she is trying to create artwork of herself and others.  The girl just wants to use brown paint, but her artist mother tells her that we all come in different shades, and that brown paint just won’t do it.  She needs to mix different shades by using red, yellow, black, and white paints.  To illustrate her point, the mother takes the daughter out into the city to see various people they know.  The skin color of each character they come across is described using food items (cinnamon, peachy tan, chocolate, peanut butter, etc), and the girl gets the point, goes home and does the artwork well.  The ultimate message was well received by my son., as evidenced by the day he put his hand, my hand, and my wife’s hand all together and described their different tones.  This book has taken some criticism for stereotypical portrayals of some of the characters, most notably the dark-skinned female babysitter and the spice-selling Indian man.  I wish these were avoided.

 

Next on the slate is Jackie’s Gift by Sharon Robinson (Jackie Robinson’s daughter), and illustrated by E.B. Lewis.  Anyone who knows me well or avidly reads this blog knows that the “J” in RJ is after Jackie Robinson, and #42 is a hero of mine.  This true story is set in Brooklyn during Jackie’s first year with the Dodgers.  Jackie befriends a kid in the neighborhood, and invites the boy over to help decorate his Christmas tree.  During the decorating, Jackie asks the boy about his own tree, and the boy replies that his family doesn’t have one.  Jackie, presumably assuming the boy’s family can’t afford a tree, brings one over to his house the next day, only to be embarrassed when he finds out that the reason the boy’s family doesn’t have a tree is because they are Jewish.  I love the irony here, that Jackie Robinson, the ultimate symbol of civil rights and cultural tolerance, made a cultural mistake.  It just goes to show that no matter who we are or how culturally competent we think we might be, cultural competence is never perfectly achieved by anyone.

 

Last and absolutely not least (it’s actually my favorite of the bunch), is Spork, written by Kyo Maclear and illustrated by Isabelle Arsenault.  The concept is genius in its simplicity; in a kitchen of personified utensils, Spork has a fork for a father and a spoon as his mother.  He sticks out in the crowd, gets asked “What are you, anyway?” a zillion times, gets accused by the forks of being too round, gets accused by the spoons of being too pointy, and like the random spork that many kitchen drawers still have from back when KFC was still known as Kentucky Fried Chicken in the 80’s, he doesn’t get used.  He becomes sad and envious that the other utensils get to play in food, while he sits in a drawer.  Then a toddler hits the scene, and Spork becomes the perfect culinary instrument of choice for the little dude.  He finds out that he was just right all along.

 

Any thoughts on these books?  Other books I should know of?  Let me know by leaving a comment!

 

Exploring Fatherhood Through Hip Hop

As I return from a long and unexcused hiatus on the blog, I figured what better way to make a comeback than with one of the themes with which this blog was started, hip hop music.  For those readers who aren’t into hip hop, I am guessing you may have a negative opinion of it based upon what the mainstream media sells to kids as “hip hop” these days, and I don’t blame you at all.  I do ask that you stay with me, however, as there’s much more to hip hop than what you may see.  Follow along as I discuss three hip hop songs that I feel emulate the power of fatherhood in different but equally effective ways.  This will come as a surprise to nobody who knows me…I’m staying with local artists from Massachusetts.  As I went through the possibilities, I discovered that fatherhood is covered in hip hop much more than I had realized.  I’ve already given immense love to Edo.G and his song “Be a father to your child” on this blog, including naming the blog after the first line of the song, so we’re going with other songs this time around, from artists that are worthy of the shine.  Please click on the links and listen to the songs as you read along to get the full effect.

First up is Daniel Laurent, AKA DL, a longstanding respected artist from Boston.  He broke out onto the scene with his song “MASSterpiece”, famous for it’s sample of the Cheers theme song in the beat.  His appeal is in his genuine and honest lyrics, which touch a range of subjects, backed by an equally broad range of beats that span from hard hitting to soulful, depending on what the mood for the song requires.  In his song “Lovin’ You,” DL sets it off with a verse about mothers, so as not to be neglectful of them, and then unleashes his heartfelt salute to fatherhood in verse two.  DL’s positive and uplifting verse offers both encouragement for, and expectation of, fathers.  He acknowledges both the benefits of fatherhood and validates the challenges before giving the ultimate message of the importance and impact of being involved.  My favorite gem he delivers goes “It don’t matter what your title weighs, rapper, doctor, cab driver, your kid loves you anyway.”  It serves as a reminder that no matter what our adult lives are like, where we stand, or what our stressors are, when we are with our kids, we’re all just “daddy,” and we can be looked up to regardless.

When outsiders think of Cambridge, Massachusetts, they probably think of M.I.T. and “pahking the cahh at Hahvahd Yahd.”  But as well as Cambridge is known for it’s educational prominence and affluence, there’s another side to the city as well, and that is where the duo IroQ and John D.O.E. hail from.  In contrast to DL as the present father in “Lovin You”, their song “My Life” (fair warning, the lyrics here are harsher than the other songs) shows the importance of fatherhood from a different, but just as important angle.  The story is one that has been told before in media, of the boy with the absent father who gets sucked into the street life.  However, what IroQ and John D.O.E. do better than anyone (in my opinion) is create emotion through their music.  Good music has the ability to make us feel a certain way.  Some songs have a happy vibe, some are upbeat and create an energy that helps us get through a workout, and some are introspective and make us think.  In this case, I felt angry at the father, which of course was their intent.  In my career, I work with kids and teens, and I’ve come across many kids with absent fathers.  Their situations vary widely, from kids in trouble with the juvenile justice system to kids making straight A’s in school, but the anger and confusion described in the song is a common feeling.  By porting this so vividly, IroQ and John D.O.E. make the strongest statement of how fathers impact their children’s lives negatively by their absence.  However, this isn’t just a “F-you, absent dad” verse, as John also steps into his dad’s head and predicts the pain his dad likely feels when he thinks of the son he doesn’t have a relationship with.  It’s a lose-lose situation.

Last up is Ea$y Money, most well known as a member of ST. the Squad, a group he started with Termanology when they were teenagers. They are both grown up now, and while Term has a longer resume at this point, Ea$y has dropped some classic mix tapes, and I expect nothing but big things from him now that he’s officially aligned with Term in Statik Selektah’s show off camp. I don’t have too much to say about the song “Biggest Mistake,” (featuring Lee Wilson) because it speaks so well for itself.  That being said, there are two lasting gems here: The first is Ea$y’s story of how being a father has changed his life, and a reminder that fatherhood is one of those things where you get from it what you give to it. As much of an impact as we can have in our kids’ lives, they can also have on ours.  The second is the way he takes responsibility for his past mistakes in the song.  It’s something we all need to do better and role model for our kids.

Now it’s your turn: What did you think of these songs?  What other hip hop songs have a strong fatherhood message? Leave a comment and if I get enough, I’ll review them in a future post.

Winning and Losing

The following conversation happened around 5:45 this morning just after my son woke up and I was changing his nighttime diaper:

Me: “RJ, the Bruins lost last night.”
Him: (disappointed tone) “But they scored!”
Me: “I know, but after you went to sleep the Blackhawks scored more”
Him: “I don’t want them to lose”
Me: “I know, I don’t either. But it’s okay, everyone loses sometime. They’ll win again another day.”

If my son grows up not liking sports, it will be fine, but it won’t be due to lack of exposure to them. With him being an October baby, I did lots of “doing the football hold while watching football,” and most of his earliest pictures are of him in various Patriots/Celtics/Bruins/Red Sox outfits. As he has grown up, we’ve watched pretty much every sport there is; the four major sports, soccer, golf, tennis, and the Olympics. Through it all, I don’t ever remember talking to him about winning and losing. We talk a lot about the scoring plays, so he knows all about touchdowns, goals, baskets, and hits. I’m sure that incidentally, winning and losing has come up, and more recently I have thought about telling him if the teams won or lost when he woke up, but I also wasn’t sure he really understands the concept.

I’m also not sure how much to emphasize it. As I wrote in one of my earliest post on this blog, I feel I have a healthier attitude about my teams losing than I used to, and I don’t want him to get to where I once was. I also will NOT be one of those “everyone gets a trophy” types. There’s a healthy balance in there somewhere.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mamas, from all the dadas

THE COLLECTIVE MOTHER’S DAY CARD FROM DAD BLOGGERS

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is love their mother”. – Theodore Hesburgh

This quote gave Scott Behson the idea for a collective Mother’s day card from a great group of Dad Bloggers , of which I am proud to be a part, to the moms in our lives. So here are our collected mother’s day wishes:

First, Mine…

Happy Mother’s Day to four special women: To my mother, for unconditional love always, no matter what I ever did or said. To my mother in law, Nana, for the love and support. Seeing RJ with his Nana warms my heart. To my grandmother, matriarch of our family four generations strong, and enough love in her heart for many more. And lastly to my wife, Tiffany. RJ and I are so blessed to have you in our life.

And now, the rest…

Scott Behson. Fathers, Work and Family blog. www.fathersworkandfamily.com

You know how revved up Nick gets on nights you come home late and he gets out of bed, hides/jumps out to surprise you, runs around like a loony, and can’t get enough of cuddling and laughing with you? I feel that way too.

Happy Mother’s Day to the best wife and mom I could imagine. You have given me the gifts of true love, the amazing life we’re building together, and of fatherhood. I can never repay what you have given me. But I’ll spend every day trying.

Concretin Nik. DadLabs.  www.DadLabs.com

“Mother is the word for God on the lips and hearts of all children.” – Eric Draven

The greatest thing that’s ever happened to me is a direct result of the second greatest thing that’s ever happened to me, TheBoy&HisMother. I love you both. Happy Mother’s Day!

James W. Naturally Daddy. http://naturallydaddy.blogspot.com/

“Who ran to help me when I fell,

And would some pretty story tell,

Or kiss the place to make it well?

My mother.”

~Ann Taylor

Mom, you taught me too much to explain all of the happiness that you brought into my life. To my wife, you are a very special woman and I could never imagine being in your shoes and our daughter could never have a more loving mother.

-James

Scotty Schrier, Dads Who Change Diapers http://dadswhochangediapers.com/blog

There are only 26 paltry letters to describe the most important women in my life:

The one who gave birth to me and left this plane before meeting my sons.

The one who married me and gave birth to the two most amazing little miracles I have ever seen.

And the one who took my mother’s place and made me one of her own.

There are no words that can describe the debt I owe these women. I only hope that my actions can show them how much I truly care. For without them, I would be but a pale image of the man I am today. I love each and every one of you with all of the ferocity of a thousand suns. Thank you for putting up with me and loving me back. Especially when I didn’t deserve it.

Eric from Dad on The Run. dad-on-the-run.blogspot.com

My Mother looked life’s greatest obstacles in the eye and kept on trucking while I grew up with little understanding of that. Over the years Mom’s physical abilities have deteriorated due to her ongoing battle with MS. However, her mental steadfastness and unconditional love have remained unchanged. Her love is an anchor during any storm and it taught me what love could be and what I could find in a wife, which brings me to another great mother in my life. The love and encouragement my wife can deliver to another human amazes me and when she focuses those gifts on our children they light up in very special ways. Of course, I also have to thank my wife’s mother for raising not one, but two, fantastic Mom’s and I look on with pride and great expectations to my own sister who is a new Mom this year!  Thank you to these mothers, and all great mothers, for what you do for your children and the world every day.

-Eric

Victor Aragon Jr of Fandads.com

This Mother’s Day is going to be a special one, because it will be our first one with our new addition.  Last year, my wife worked and our plans with family members fell apart, so it wasn’t a good one for my wife.  This year, I am hoping to erase that memory and hopefully have a great one.  My wife and I have known each other for over sixteen years.  In those years it seems like even with our ups and downs, we are constantly getting to know each other and our love keeps getting stronger.  I am thankful for having her in my life and for all the hard work that she does for me and the little ones.  Thank you for all you do babe, I love you.

There is another great woman in my life that if wasn’t for her I wouldn’t exist; my mother.  My mom is a strong woman and I am very thankful for all that she does for my family.  Even though I am not her little boy anymore, my mother still insists on giving me money for gas or to get something for my little girl.  My mom and dad have always gone above and beyond for my sisters and me and I feel that I am trying the best that I can to repay them for everything they did.  I would like to thank my mother for all her sacrifices and to tell her how much I love her.  Thanks Mom.

As always, thanks for reading.

Victor

DorkDad from DorkDaddy.com www.DorkDaddy.com

Because of the way you move through the room. Because of the way your smile sounds on your voice. Because every single curve on your body is in exactly the right place. Because of the way your hair smells and the way it tickles my face.  Because of the twinkle in your eyes when you’re making mischief, and the look on your face when you’re asleep. Because of the feel of your heart and the warmth of your skin when you’re holding me. Because of the magic you made with our children, and the magic you make with our family. Because everything I love about my life I can trace directly back to you.

Thank you.

Happy Mother’s Day.

Dave Lesser, Amateur Idiot / Professional Dad, www.amateuridiotprofessionaldad.com

A Mother’s Day Haiku

Mother’s Day is here

I forgot a card again

Glad I’ve got a blog!

Mom, I love you. I don’t say it often enough, but you’re awesome. You did an outstanding job raising me (and those two other dudes who kind of look like me).

Allie, what can I say? You’re an unbelievable mother and an amazing wife. This whole family would be lost without you. Literally. I just cannot follow the turn-by-turn directions on my phone without you in the passenger’s seat. Again, this is not a metaphor. Well, maybe it is a little. I’m an idiot. But I’m your idiot and you’re stuck with me. You and the kids are my world. Thank you for everything, everything you do. I love you a super friggin’ jillion much!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Neal Call. Raised by my daughter. http://raisedbymydaughter.blogspot.com/

I just want to say a humble thank you to my mother, my wife, and to all women who bear or nurture these little seeds that bring purity and wonder into the world. The “bearing” part is pretty awesome and mind-boggling, but at least as important is the part involving raising these creatures; of sacrificing what you want for what they need; of protecting them so desperately and then encouraging them to spread their wings. These are things that anybody can do, male or female, but I’ve learned the most about them from the women in my life. So, thanks.

Jeff Bogle, from the internet. Specifically, but limited to: OutWithTheKids.com

My ability to find the perfect set of curtains for the dining room and my knowledge of how to wash them and hang them damp to dry without creases. My need to vacuum my way out of a room. And my dry humor that has served me, mostly well.  Most of what people like about me, I am because of you. And to this day I enjoy talking with you on the phone almost daily, even when it is you calling me because you, once again, cannot figure out how to properly interact with technological devices. I love you, Mom, more than I’ll ever be able to write down, because even though I string sentences together every day, for some kind of living, I have yet to be able to find the correct combination of letters and words to form the single sentence that does you justice. Thank you for everything, Mom.

James Rohl, Portland Dad, Trophy Husband, and favorite son, http://sahdpdx.com

Thank you mom for showing me how to be radically hospitable, fiercely loyal, and emotionally available. I am thankful to call you my mom, and proud to call you my friend. Happy Mother’s Day.

Colby Shipwash from Days of a Domestic Dad: DaysofaDomesticDad.com

You hug, you play, you teach, you love; you are their Mom and friend forever.

To my loving wife, and mom to our children, I want to thank you for being a wonderful mom all the time. A day doesn’t go by that I am not grateful for you, and that our kids are lucky to have you in their life.

Thank You and Happy Mother’s Day

Robert Duffer, Editor of Dads & Families section of The Good Men Project,

Because you built a lego racecar ramp in our basement that would’ve made the Pinewood Derby and MacGyver proud,

Because you made your own pinata, your own decorations, your own party for 30 first graders,

Because your daughter handles a hockey stick like you, laughs like you, smiles like you, needs like you, plays like you, cares like you, loves like you,

Because you fly home when your grandparents are ill,

Because you adventure, you explore, you inquire,

Because you love without condition, and you care without self,

You are the most wonderful mother, a role model, a hero.

Love

A Basketball Milestone

Any basketball-enthusiast child has probably shot baskets in the driveway or at the local park pretending to be his or her favorite player. (And for some of us, reaching adulthood hasn’t been a mandate to stop doing this). Last night, my two year old participated in this hoop junkie rite of passage.

A couple of months after his first birthday, I bought him a Lil’ Tikes basketball set. When we opened it, he could barely dunk the ball on the lowest hoop setting. Now, at almost two and a half and with lots of practice, the hoop has been raised a couple of notches and he is able to throw the ball in from a short distance rather than just dunking. When he makes it in we cheer and high five, and when he misses, apparently a lot of the time I say “aww, man”, which I didn’t realize I was doing until he started mimicking me. We have also started to share the ball a little, passing back and fourth and taking turns shooting. After a few minutes, he goes on to something else, like his firetruck or bus.

In parallel, we have also watched the Celtics a fair amount this season. Being away from Boston, I usually try to take advantage of times when the C’s are on national TV if I can. RJ doesn’t have nearly the attention span to follow a game, but he does so in spurts, and during these times I point out the key players to him..KG, Rondo,the truth, Green, Bass, etc. He seems to have taken a primary affinity to KG, and my only guess why is that it’s an easy two-letter nickname. I also think he likes “Green” (i.e. Jeff Green) because it not only refers to a person but also the color of the uniforms. It’s not the most basketball-sound reasoning for picking favorites, but at age two it makes sense.

So fast forward to last night when he and I were playing with the ball and hoop, and I happened to be wearing a Celtics t-shirt. Instinctively, without any cue from me at all or any past times of doing this, RJ exclaimed “I’m KG!!!”. I asked him who I was, and he said “you’re Green!”. We continued playing, passing the ball back and fourth to each other, shooting, and rebounding as Kevin Garnett and Jeff Green. The moment lasted only a few minutes, but I will remember it forever.

Fatherhood Short: A Tale of two Kevins

One Kevin is a white man in his mid 50’s. He was born and raised in Hibbing, MN, a small town about two hours from the Canadian border whose population is 95.6 percent white.

Another Kevin is 36, born the same year the first Kevin was a senior in high school. Kevin #2 is a black man born and raised in the south…specifically Greenville County, SC.

Based upon geography and demographics, there’s no reason one would ever expect these two men each named Kevin to ever meet each other, or to have much in common besides their first name. However, they have one extremely unique thing in common, as they are two of the greatest power forwards to ever play the game of basketball.

If you hadn’t guessed it yet and that last sentence wasn’t a giveaway to you, I’m talking about Kevin McHale and Kevin Garnett. Their connection began in 1995 when McHale, an executive and later coach of the Minnesota Timberwolves drafted Garnett. They spent significant years together before moving on to other teams.

Fast forward to last night, when the Boston Celtics played the Houston Rockets. The two Kevins were reunited on the basketball court, McHale as the head coach of the Rockets and Garnett as the emotional leader and veteran big man for the Celtics. A basketball game was played and one team won and one team lost.

Then, this happened. And, oh, by the way…one other meaningful commonality between the two Kevins is that they are both fathers to daughters. McHale’s daughter tragically died of Lupus earlier this month. We can only guess what was said between the two Kevins during their embrace, but it is a touching moment to see for yourself.

Thanks to SBNation for capturing this moment and realizing the significance of it.